There was birdsong. That is the detail everybody keeps returning to. Whatever else is disputed about that afternoon, every account agrees the windows were open and the birds were going.

By the evening one of them had left the server entirely.

What was announced

The pregnancy was not a rumour. It was announced, publicly, in a voice channel titled Hospital RP!!, by Vaelaris, at length, to anyone who would listen. The channel had been running fifty-six seconds. The status line read simply: "giving birth to my 3rd baby!"

A second channel later recorded the same claim in blunter terms, "im giving birth to swaggs baby!", and stayed open for one hour and thirty-two minutes. Nobody has explained what happened during that hour and a half. This paper has chosen not to ask.

It was, by every available measure, a happy announcement. Witnesses describe Vaelaris as "delighted", "extremely loud", and "not reading the room".

What was served

Swagg was reportedly given the news in person, and did not respond to it.

What Swagg produced instead, and here the accounts converge with unusual precision, were divorce papers. Already prepared. Already filled in. Handed over before congratulations could be offered, let alone received.

The paperwork's existence raises a question this newsroom feels obliged to put plainly: divorce papers do not appear instantly. Somebody drew those up in advance. Somebody was carrying them.

What was said

The record ends at 22:03, with a message that requires no interpretation and which we reproduce in full:

NOOOO WE BROKE UP HE LEFT THE SERVER

There has been no statement from the other party, on account of there being no other party present on the server to make one.

Where matters stand

Three children. One marriage. One departure. A hospital wing built for an occasion that turned into something else entirely, and which nobody has had the heart to demolish.

Swagg could not be reached for comment. Swagg could not be reached at all.

This paper extends its sympathies to all parties, including the birds.